Well, not yet. We have, at long last, a choice of Colleges! Erin has decided to go to Hollins University. Yes, indeed, after months and months of applications and forms and transcripts and college fairs and college tours we have a choice. This has been a real experience for Sarah and I as parents. Beyond being invested as just "parents" we have been saving money since Erin was in diapers to get this done so it's been a long time coming. It hasn't been without some tears, angst and hard discussions but we're here.
This decision making process is among the more difficult things I've had to do as a parent or in any other part of my life. I tend to be one of those people who make a decision and then go about making it happen. You're either part of the solution or part of the problem – out of the way. However, this decision is fundamentally one I can't make. Yes, I can influence it – and I should, I'm Erin's father but my fingerprints can't be all over this thing. Oh sure, I suppose I could've looked at the options and said "you're going here" but my gut (and my Consigliere) told me otherwise. In addition, when I thought back to college, many of the kids who felt they had no hand in the decision resented the outcome – even when it was positive. No, this is a decision the kid must be empowered to make. I can help get her in the vicinity of a decision but she must own the final result.
We started this process better than a year ago with a trip to VCU. A pretty well executed information session but all I remember is the rain…:)
After about 6 months worth of applying, filling out forms and 2 different college nights several things started to come into focus. Private and out of state colleges might not be as expensive as we first thought. Also, Erin had started volunteering at the hospital and seemed interested in a career in the medical field. She had applied to about half a dozen different colleges and been accepted to all but UVA. Not sure what happened there but she seemed ok with that. In addition, the places she applied were pretty diverse: Virginia Tech, VCU, Longwood, Randolph-Macon, Hollins, Mary Baldwin, William and Mary and UVA. Erin liked Longwood but didn't seem jazzed by it. The top three were Va Tech, VCU and Hollins. She was intrigued by Virginia Tech but wasn't sure what to make of Hollins. So you had a giant state school in the middle of nowhere, a tiny private school in the middle of nowhere and an urban university in the middle of Richmond. I'll be honest, I wasn't sure how this was going to play out. None of these schools are really like the others….
However, after several college weekends, VCU slid to third choice while Virginia Tech and Hollins slid up to first and second. Hollins had a strong engagement program and were prepared to deliver a great scholarship. Virginia Tech pretty much just offered admission. So, this past weekend, Hollins and Tech were both having "admitted students" events. Hollins on Saturday and Tech on Sunday. This was like a title fight! I was really hoping we would end the weekend with a decision and off we went.
The Hollins event was pretty predictable. Those guys have this engagement stuff down to a science. It's what they specialize in. Everyone was appropriately impressed and the vast bulk of the questions were answered. Erin seemed genuinely interested and I could tell that she had definitely warmed to the idea of attending a smaller college. The bio program seems well established and solid. We bagged out of there after a campus tour.
The next morning broke bright and shiny. I was excited for the finale but I also half expected the Va Tech event to be a complete mail-in affair. Tech doesn't seem to have to do much to get great students. However, they did put their best foot forward. The event was a galactic level deal what with there being more members in the freshmen class at Tech than the sum total of all students at Hollins! Everyone crowded into Burress hall and there was an hour and a half long agenda with the President of the college and about 6 others speaking. Very well done. If you would have asked my prediction for the outcome – right then and there – I think I would have said Tech. The hall was big and the speakers were great. It was hard not to get excited about it.
At the concusion of the opening event they dismissed everyone based on the college you wanted to attend so we went to the Science building.
The Science building was just like everything at Tech – fabulous. There's no shortage of money at that place and Tech does a good job with it. We eneded up in a stadium-seating classroom with about 300 others. The professor who spoke was (of course) great. Very engaging. However, this event too was about an hour and a half. 45 minutes into it I indicated to Erin that I needed to go to the bathroom, she stood up and we headed out.
I saw Erin as I came out of the bathroom and said "let's head back in" and she said "I want to talk". Uh-Oh. "What's up?"
"Are all my classes going to be like that? With 300 people?"
"No. But many of your 101 – 102 classes will be large. As you get farther along in your degree work the classes will get smaller."
"I was sitting in that room listening to that guy talk and I just lost interest in whatever he was saying. I didn't feel like it mattered that I was there."
Well, that got my attention right away. Red Flags all over the place. This young woman is a dilligent student and dedicated to her education.
"Well honey, if that's the way you feel, that's pretty much it. Are you sure?"
"I'm not feelin' it".
"Well, then that's that."
And that was that. 45 minutes into a presentation on the science program at an enormous university we made a decision to go elsewhere. Sitting, like 2 little kids, in the hallway near the auditorium. Outside the sun was shining and the birds were still singing. The world hadn't ended. We were both happpier than we were 5 minutes before and we've stayed that way.
That decision happened so fast that Sarah missed it! She thought that we were still in the bathroom! She came out of the auditorium a few minutes later and we strolled out the door….
